Shit happens
by DarkjordanGT and Codekk
Summary: story of two guys in a new place with a gifts from a Board Random omnipotent being R.O.B. for short and he also leaves them with his mess to fix a self insert story D&D/HarryPotter/fairytale magic ben10/MassEffect/redfaction technolegy Girlgenius sparks and other x-overs


-Authors Note-  
We own nothing but are oc/self inserts  
DarkJordanGT: Hi Jordan here and this is our own self insert and bandwagon jumping story

Codekk: ok, so whatever say can be in the author's note

DarkJordanGT: yes

Codekk: OK how about this... I got nothing

DarkJordanGT: hahahaha, ok let's get on with the story  
-Chapter 1-  
Darkness surrounds the room, seeming to be endless. "Hello?" Jordan exclaimed in confusion, "Yes" Tyrell responded in an unwelcoming tone. "Is that you dude" Jordan responded. Sudden blinding light fills the room, hurting the eyes of the people inside, "god damn it" in a more annoyed tone. As the 2 victims notice a large object before them, seeming an unusual computer duo to its excessive dangling cords and cables coded with many sorts of colors. "That looks like the biggest computer I have ever seen" Jordan said in an amazed tone, "looks like the shittiest computer I have ever seen" Tyrell exclaimed while looking very exhausted, seeming unrested for long periods of time. A text began to appear on the terminal located on the screen, the text revealed a message saying,

Dear: Mortals  
This is your friendly neighbourhood omnipotent being,  
In case you hadn't notice, I have brought you here for my, curiosity of what happens when 2 average Americans in a world full of danger and conception. To make chaos, you each get a boon (Gift) for knowledge and power, which will be granted to match your specific path. But be aware, your choices can influence your future.  
Yours truly: R.O.B.

"He doesn't know were Canadians, does he" Tyrell said

"We aren't even a member of the spacebattles" Jordan exclaimed

"What?" Tyrell now in confusion

"I read self-insert stories a lot, and I kind of ran out of them on , so I googled it and found a forum called space battles"

"And why the hell I'm involved?" Tyrell beginning feeling unsure,

"I don't know" Jordan respond with a shrug

"This feels a lot like a creepypasta, I swear" Tyrell responded in more cautious tone,

Soon after, the computer disappeared during the conversation without notice of the two victims, but soon after they turned their heads realising that there was a classic looking wooden door located behind the computer that was once there.

"3, 2, 1 not it" Tyrell exclaimed in a quick succession which takes Jordan off guard.

"Oh man" Jordan said in grief while bringing a hesitant look to Tyrell and slowly walked towards the door also while Tyrell slowly speaking a slowly yet dramatic sound"dun dun dun dundunduuuun". Jordan stops and glares at Tyrell with a (what the fuck are you doing) look. Tyrell stopped saying the repeated tone, Jordan looked back at the door with caution in his eyes and with all his courage and failure to say not it, he attempted to open the door towards him but didn't budge.

"Try pushing" Tyrell advised Jordan with another dramatic attempt to open the door but now pushing, the door slowly opened and a flood of light purge its way in the room and brightening it more. "god damn it, not again" Tyrell said as the light blinds Tyrell and Jordan again but Jordan still presses on as the door fully opens as it creaks, while making the light so strong it blinds them again.

The light slowly going away as the sun shines upon both of them; they seem to have appeared on the outskirts of a wall with a leaf symbol.  
Un-knowingly both Tyrell and Jordan have transformed into different appearances upon arrival.  
As Jordan looks acquires a red cloak black shirt and pants with Leather boots, also a staff in his hands and a wizard hat on his head, as also Tyrell with his looks was wearing an 1800's fancy outfit and noticeable device embedded into his right arm and the device was seemed very futuristic with a large screen and a blackish material on the device as also a very large Police bag was also on his left shoulder.

Tyrell looks over to Jordan to immediately notices Jordan's new appearance "Holy crap, you look different" as he exclaimed in surprise.  
"So do you, you look younger" "What?" Tyrell said roughly. Tyrell briefly checks himself as he notices his new formal look and different size as he then notices the messenger bag then immediately check the inventory inside the bag, Inside contained a moderately large laptop, a pair of Binoculars, a handgun holster, 6 MREs, water purification kit, MSA Gas Mask, flare gun /w 6 flares, electrical cables and wires, Taser, 4 smoke grenades, and many other things. Without notice, Tyrell's eyes begin to glow blue. "Nice glowing eyes" Jordan said Tyrell looks at Jordan then his eyes began to focus at Jordan's pocket. "Why are you looking at my pockets" Jordan said with confusion. "I can see something in your pocket" Tyrell responded. Jordan takes out a ruby which was followed by Tyrell's eyes. "You mean this, it's a magic storage device" Jordan said

"Well, I seem to be able to see energy, aint that neat" Tyrell said as his eyes go back to normal while he begins to examine the device on his arm. Well these would be very useful" Tyrell said now bringing the device to life with a blue interface appearing on the device touch screen revealing tools and options. As the device seem to have an advance interface that seemed to be similar to a smart phone. As Tyrell checks the tools, he notice on the top row there's the pip boy symbol on the left, an Omni tool symbol next to it, another symbol was a Nano robotic icon, and the last one seem to be an hour glass, and the rest of other tools and options are minor like camera, GPS/navigator, map, scanner, etc.

"I seem to have an understanding and knowledge on magic/charkra that I didn't have before" Jordan said  
"And I seem to have knowledge of general science of all sorts" Tyrell responded "what do think our new names going to be?" "You mean aliases?"  
"Yes, but also names to protect the truth from others by the looks of it, the less people know, the better" "I'll go by Ran Arcane"  
"Refer you as Arcane then" "No, that's my clan name" "Well, I guess you can refer to me as Azura Forge"  
"And what will you refer me as, Forge?" a voice unexpectedly spoke from the device which happens to sound a lot like Schrödinger.  
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Forge exclaimed as he stumbled a few steps back in surprise and quickly looks at the device.  
"Cool" Arcane said with glee, "what else could that thing do?"

"I can use nanites to construct and deconstruct objects and many other things for that matter" the device said happily "So, like alchemy?" Jordan questioned  
"Something like that" the device assured "now back to the question, what shall you refer me, fuhrer". "I'm not a Nazi" forge exclaimed while remaining disturbed of device's presence "I never said you were, fuhrer" the device assured "Then how about you call me major" Forge said  
"If you say so" the device calmly agreed "I think the plot should be thickening right about now" Arcane assured as an orange blur past jumps past us.  
"what the fuck (was zum Teufel)" as both Forge and the device shout in surprise in German  
"Let's go follow the plot" Jordan exclaims as he jumps into the trees like a ninja. "Well that exculated quickly" the device says "now tell me right now, what shall you refer me as!" the device said with demand "Ok, how about Glados" Tyrell suggested "The cake is a lie" the device in a menacingly creepy voice.  
"You know what, let's stick with Schrödinger" Tyrell replied in a trembled voice in realization that it knows what the reference meant.  
"Yay, now let us be off, Major" the newly named Schrödinger said in a cheery tone "God damn it" Tyrell said to himself as he began to run through the trees to catch up with arcane. As Forge attempts to catch up with Arcane, he manages to catch up with him and notice that arcane was watching a boy in orange who was reading a big dusty scroll.

"What did I miss" Forge said almost tiredly "Nothing at all, he just started reading, where gonna be here awhile" Jordan said with confidence.  
"sh-sh-sh-shad-shadow clone, oh man that's my worst jutsu" Naruto dramatically wails "So you want me to sit here to listen to him trying to read or what?" forge said  
"No, I don't expect you to sit here and listen, I expect you to check for hostiles with that device" Arcane responded "It's Schrodinger, thank you very much, Arschloch" Schrödinger said in annoyance. "Why are you so calm about this, is there something you're not telling me?" Forge said with suspicion.  
"The reason for my calm exterior, because of Occlumency the art of closing one's mind, think Jedi" Jordan said with no emotion.  
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool, William shakes spear" Schrödinger said with a chuckle  
"BUUUURRRRNNN" Forge exclaims in laughter as Arcane elbows Forge in the stomach. "Hey, that wasn't me" forge said with pain as he slightly bends over and puts his large bag on the ground. "Take responsibility for device's actions" Arcane said with malice in his tone. "Well, whatever I do, major takes responsibility, but I'm not that mean to my partner unlike everyone else here at the moment" Schrödinger said happily

-2 hours later-

"Rock, paper, scissors" Jordan said as he picks the winning hand whilst using magic without assumed forge notice.  
"I can't believe we been sitting here, playing random games for 2 hours, 1 with Schrödinger which was virtual and 1 hour with you and only one who thinks he can keep his act long as possible thinking I wouldn't notice after 15 loses in 5 minutes. So in total 254 games of you winning and the entire time we could have been doing something productive" Forge exclaims in annoyance. "Schrödinger, report hostiles" Arcane said with confidence  
"2 creatures approaching at high speeds, if you know what's going coming, why you ask" Schrödinger said in also in annoyed tone duo to its meaningless task.  
"Just checking" Arcane said "get ready" he then exclaims "Major, use the flare gun that was provided, once the I tell you what to do" Schrödinger said privately through the nanites embedded to forge. "You better know what you're doing" forge said concerned as he pulls a flare gun from the hostler.

A noise alerts naruto as he turns to see his sensei iruka with a twitching annoyed face and says "it's over" as he laughs with triumph then naruto  
Naruto: (puts his hand on the back of his head) "Te he he he he. " Iruka: "Huh?" Naruto: "Caught me already? Not bad. Your quick sensei. I only had time to learn one technique." Iruka: *He's been out here practicing! I can tell how hard he's been working.* Naruto spreads his arms wide and says "Listen Iruka-sensei! I'm gonna show you this amazing jutsu and you're gonna let me graduate then everything will be okay! That's the way it works right? Anyone who learns a jutsu from this scroll passes." Iruka: "Huh?! Where'd you get that idea?!" Naruto arms still spread and started flapping them "Mizuki-sensei told me about it. Believe it!" as he spins around to show him the scroll "He told me where to find the scroll and this place…" stops to look at Iruka's shocked face *Huh? Mizuki?*as Iruka turns around quickly and pushes Naruto away from multiple kunai flying towards them A couple hit him in his arms and legs they turn to the attacker and find Mizuki: "I see you found our little hide away." Iruka: "So that's the way it is huh? I should have known!" Mizuki kneeling on a branch of a nearby tree "Naruto! Give me the scroll now!"

"Wait a minute!" Naruto said looks back and forth between Iruka and Mizuki "What's going on here!?" Iruka breathing hard…pulls out one of the kunai and throws it "Naruto! Don't let Mizuki get the scroll! It contains forbidden jutsu that can put this village in grave danger! Mizuki used you to get the scroll for himself for his own power!". "Naruto! Iruka is just trying to scare you cause he doesn't want you to have the scroll." said Mizuki Naruto "Huh!?" looks at a wounded Iruka not sure who to believe Iruka "Stop lying Mizuki! Don't let him trick you Naruto!" Mizuki: "Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh I'll tell you who's really lying." Iruka: "No Mizuki!"  
Mizuki: "They've been lying to you your whole life Naruto. Since the decree twelve years ago." Naruto: "What decree?" Mizuki replies "Everyone knows except you. Iruka's trying to hide it from you even now. He'd do anything to shut me up!"Naruto: "What is this decree? Why does everyone else know about it?"  
Iruka: "Don't tell him it's forbidden!" Mizuki: "The decree is no one can tell you the nine-tail fox is inside you!" Naruto's eyes open wide and Gasp in surprse horror Mizuki: "The fox spirit that killed Iruka's parents and destroyed our village has taken over your body! You are the nine-tails fox!" Iruka: "STOOOP IT!"  
Mizuki: "They've all been sneaking around hiding things from you your whole life. Didn't you think it was strange how they treated you? Like dirt! Like they hated you for just being alive!" Naruto: "No! No no no no!" Naruto bends down and blue chakra starts swirling around him. "thats why you will never be acepted in this villege even your sensai hates your guts" mizuki taunts "naruto get down"Iruka yells and naruto does just that. just as Mizuki draws out the Fuma Shuriken off his back and throws it at naruto while saying "Die Fox demon"

"Now" Arcane launches out of the bushes and kicks the fuma shuriken off course and lands in front of Iruka and naruto. "What ideas go through his head Major?" Schrödinger said in confusion "Let's just say, he's just crazy" Forge said as he watches Arcane get into possible trouble from a distance. "It's not nice to throw pointy objects at people" Arcane said arrogantly with a smirk "Who are you" mizuki said with malice as Arcane stands between the people on the ground and the traitor.  
"Just call me Arcane" as mizuki sneer's at Arcane after his introduction. "Ok Arcane, then die" Mizuki replies as he then launches shurikens at Arcane but immediately countered with a spell "shadow copy" as he exclaims as the shurikens were deflected by the shadow shurikens. "Seems like he's having fun, shall we intervene" Schrödinger said with an almost malicious tone. "From the looks of it, I think we should intervene" Forge responded as he slowly approaches the fight between Arcane and the traitor in the tree. Arcane grabs fire ants in his pocket and puts it in his mouth and exhales quickly as the ants distills into a cone of acidic droplets at mizuki's feet as he jumps away. "Having fun there!" Forge shouts towards arcane. "yeah, having loads of fun" Arcane shouted back in response as he takes out 2 iron rods "Arc of lightning" as sudden bursts of lightning came out of the rods as it strikes mizuki square in the chest and he goes down and Arcane stops as he puts the rods down. A sheering sound coming where Forge as a small red orb goes upwards as it emits a slight dim red light in the area. In a split second a powerful blinding white light and heat can be felt around the area, Forge walks up to Arcane wearing a gas mask that has tinted glass to protect him from the light.

"Like the view" Forge said as if not bothered from the flare. "Did it have to be so bright" Arcane said while he covers his eyes with his hat  
"There were a lot unknown life signatures around, so I did it to suppress the area to see if you want leave" Forge said with caution. "No, I want to see what happens next, oh and claimed to be a wonderer when they get here" Arcane said "So the unknown life signatures could have been something that you have known" Schrödinger said. "Why do I want to watch the future when I I'm going to be there a few seconds anyway, so no I don't know the life signatures are until you mentioned it. "So do you think we well be attacked?" Forge said as he crosses his arms "Without provocation no, ask to surrender yes, alright lets talked to our new friends" Arcane said as he walks towards Naruto and Iruka as they seem to have finished a hug and a moment. "Am I interrupting a heartfelt moment, hi I'm Arcane and over there is my good buddy forge-"Arcane said with a sudden interruption "yes, more specimens for the taking" Schrödinger said with glee. "That's Schrödinger, in case you're wondering" forge said through the transceiver in the mask and ending with a squelch. "What the heck is that, what is he, and how the heck did you do all that stuff" Naruto exclaims in surprise of the events that occurred. "In that order, that is an A.I." Arcane said pointing at Forge's device "and he is a guy in a mask and I did-"Arcane was interrupted again with a slightly louder squelch. "That is a secret, well tell you what you need to know, not what you want" Forge said with a very stern voice. "I am Umino Iruka and this is uzamaki Naruto, thanks for saving us" Iruka said

"It's no big, we were just passing through" Arcane said with confidence "And pinnocio's nose grows" Schrödinger said pleasantly as the flare slowly disappears and turns everything into its previous darkness. "Just for a reminder, we have signatures coming from the south towards us" Schrödinger assures  
"Oh, that would mean the inhabitants are coming to greet us" Arcane said with a jaunty tone. A hologram of the Omni tool appears around the device of Schrödinger, "now then, Forge would you like to try out another feature?" Schrödinger suggested. "sure, but let me use something else then what your displaying, let's see the transformation option" Forge said as he swipes across the device to disable the hologram and revealed the hourglass icon and presses it, revealing incredible amount of specimens, so much that the results became almost microscopic. "Ok, I would like to see what I have Schrödinger" Forge said privately through bond of the device.  
"You don't need to, just use your fucking mind to see what you're doing, your bounded with me for a reason" Schrödinger exclaimed in bounds as forge eyes and the device change color to green. "oh yea, not sure if you know, the being that transported you here has modified you and me so that no one can infiltrate the mind or the device that contains information so that it prevents critical conflict and not even you or me can access either, what made you think you guys can't remember your names anymore once you claim your aliases, the Being has put new rules in reality so it can go as he expected so don't try to break or change the rules which means universe tampering is not allowed unless you use either the 2 secrets, but other than that follow the instructions please or hell will rain".  
"Why didn't you tell me before hand?" Forge said in confusion "I had to test to see if you're… well, comply with the knowledge given to you" Schrödinger assures  
"And why is that" Forge questioned again, as Schrödinger randomly decides for a transformation to prevent further more discussion.  
A sudden flash of green light emit around the area as he immediately turned into XLR8 "hey, I didn't make a decision" Forge exclaimed out loud in a muffle in his gasmask as he looks over himself over. "Wow how did you do that?" Naruto said in awe "I think its alien artifact no clue how it works" Arcane answered  
"It's really complicated, that's all I can say" Forge responded to Naruto with a squelch The ANBU black-ops blur through the trees and landed into the field, the leader Inu steps forward and announces "naruto the Hokage-Sama, will see you and Iruka in his office" and he moves his head towards the wonderers and continues "and you two will come in for questioning" "Sure, alright" Arcane peacefully responds "Why, what did do?" forge questions as he gains his composure

"nothing, we just need to get the facts straight, and what are you" Inu replies with an eyebrow "He's, complicated" Arcane assures  
"I'm nature's greatest gift to the world" Forge said friendly as possible until the transformation reverts to human with a flash.  
"Shit" Forge said roughly as he tries to smile faintly as Arcane face balms.

-1 hour later- (outside interrogation room)

After one explanation later outside the interrogation room, outcomes Forge shaken from the experience in the interrogation room as of Arcane seeming to be normal and smile with a cocky grin at Forge, seeming to notice that Forge got the bad cop while Arcane got the good one. "Problem" Arcane said with a big grin

"That ascholf, feeling vengeance is the answer for a bloody day" Forge said quietly but also remaining shaken but also not only angered. "So were going to fill out some forms, set up home, and get a job as ninjas" Arcane said "I have to stay here is what you're saying" Forge said quietly while remaining irritated."Yes, were going to stay here, it's our best bet" Arcane responded"Forge seems awfully angered at this point" Schrödinger said cautiously.

- Lots of paperwork later-

As Arcane and Forge enter their new 3 bedroom apartment as arcane admires the room while Forge finally has his mind cooled off from the incidences that accured before.  
"Well this room seems, I guess, nice" Schrödinger said as Forge places his messenger bag in the spare bedroom.  
"welcome home guys, were gonna be here awhile" Arcane assures

-END Chapter 1-

Thanks for reading we know this is just another Self insert to many of u well Read and Review K-thank-bye


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